it's been a while...

I decided to fall off the face of the blog earth for a while friends. I was spending too much time in my day on the computer and worrying too much about my internet life and not enough about my real life. I was measuring my outfits, photography, thoughts, weekends and outings based on what would look best in a blog. Trying to keep up and make it better all of the time wasn't for me.

Also, I've been doing this...

...growing a sweet girl inside of me. My daughter. These last 27 weeks have been an incredible journey. God is teaching me so much about His control on our lives from before we were born and how He desires the reigns for the rest of it. I'm merely the vessel that He is using to form my sweet Reese Katherine inside of me. He is making her perfect, not her, not me, not Brian, He is.

Here's to letting Him have that kind of control forever  on her life and mine as He is better at it than I ever could be.

Sometimes I miss blogging so maybe I'll be back every once in a while to share about how an ordinary person can be organized or with thoughts on what I'm learning in this life.

xoxo

a different christmas

Source: spreadhisword.tumblr.com via Olivia on Pinterest

Our family has decided to do Christmas a little different this year. The burden has been on my heart for the last few years but I haven't quite had the courage to stand up and say it. The stress of buying presents for so many family members around the holidays has me feeling a little bit insane. The need to find just the perfect gift, make sure I'm spending the same amount on them that they are on me, spending money that I don't have  to spend all takes away from the real reason Christmas is celebrated.

God gave us a gift, a sacrifice of himself, when we are rushing around we miss the biggest detail of it all. This year we've decided with some of our family members to not purchase gifts for each other but to just be together. Christmas is a time to celebrate what God has done for us by sending His one and only Son to be humbly born into this dark world to pay a price for us so that we could live. He wants us to live our life as a blessing to others and slowing down to spend quality time with those around us is just that.

How do you keep yourself focused on the Creator?

why my blog is for me

I started this blog almost 3 years ago out of a need to create and to have a voice. I titled it 'For Me' as a constant reminder that I shouldn't blog just for others. I blog stalked for a few months before I started mine and it made me sad to see people write things like "I'm sorry for not posting lately..." as if they were not enjoying it and being forced to post. I also wanted to always remind myself to stay true to who I was.

For blog success, I've been told to do many things, but I don't necessarily want blog success, I want to be me, isn't that why most of us start blogs? So that we can share a bit of ourselves with the world? Learn from each other? Grow together? I never wanted to do otherwise. I'm writing this post for myself right now as another reminder.

Lately I have been bored with my blog, over it, not feeling it. I don't really know if anyone is still reading, I don't get a lot of comments, I haven't had new followers in months, my photos aren't done very well because I don't have photoshop, I don't take pictures all of the time because my life is really busy and hectic. I realized that this list of things was the reason that I wasn't "feeling it" when really all of those things shouldn't matter if I'm blogging just for me.

I have an audience of One that I'm trying to please, Galatians 1:10 and I shouldn't let those things make me not want to blog.

Part of the beauty of this world of blogging is the community made within it. I delight so much in comments on my posts and interacting with readers as well as being inspired by content on the blogs of others. However, if I don't get comments or new readers, I don't want to think that I am failing. Or if one blog has grown a lot in the last year and mine hasn't, I don't want to feel any ounce of jealousy in it. I am not going to stop blogging, I just want to remind myself the reason I started in the first place. Thank you to all who have been following along in my journey, I hope we continue to inspire one another.

Do any of you struggle with comparison, jealousy, blogging for others and not yourself? I hope this is an encouragement to keep blogging things you love, share your heart and personality and if people enjoy it and find value in it, that is just a bonus!

the truth

Our Pastor's mom writes a beautiful blog and a post captured me the other day and has been stuck in my heart. As a follower of Christ I feel very embarrassed to share that spending consistent time in the word has been one of my biggest struggles as a believer. There have been seasons were I faithfully get up every morning and spend quality time in the word but it has not been a fluid season for the past 10.5 years that I've been walking with Christ. I've prayed to God asking for that struggle in my life to be gone once and for all, that every day for the rest of my life I would wake up and first clothe myself in Christ, wrap my heart up in his armor to tackle the day, the appointment I never miss. I've prayed for discipline, for it to become habit...

Source: 5th-avenue-fashion.tumblr.com via Olivia on Pinterest

But discipline and habit aren't the answer. Those aren't the things that will draw me close to God's heart and His love; desire will. When my heart longs to be with Him enough, I will make the sacrifice to get out of bed earlier. Lord, I pray for desire to be close to you daily, to know that my life is nothing without you first in it.

What did you think of her blog post? Do you feel this? Agree with her thoughts?

there your heart will be also

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy,and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

This verse is ringing true to me now more than ever. Time wasted on worrying about money, stuff, clothes, the way we look, having the right thing, the right couch is just not worth it. Live the life God intended you to now. Relationships are what matters, giving your life away is what matters, bettering others lives is what matters, being hospitable is what matters, being selfless is what matters. 

Our dear dear friends lost their house in a fire this past weekend. It was one of the most horrific things I've seen. Their home was a home open to our entire community. They were the most sacrificial with their space and it was a home where many people grew up, learned more about God and felt loved. My best friend told me that God has been telling her over and over "but I still remain".  It's true, He does, and all of the work He did in that home still remains.

Please pray for my friends. They love the Lord with all of their heart. It devastates me that this would happen to people like them, but I know that the Lord remains and He remains victorious.

psalm 62

this is a re-run from a previous guest post I did for Jen but my life has been super crazy busy lately so I felt like I needed to read it again.. and maybe you do too!

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I am a do-er, a go-getter, a must finish everything on the to-do lister,  a feels guilty when I sit downer. While these can be good qualities, sometimes I am busy to a fault. I burn out, I feel overwhelmed, I don't  have peace, I have a break downs.

Then one day, God told me this:

Source: google.com via Olivia on Pinterest

I realized my issue of not being able to rest was also an issue of trust and control. Could I give it up? Could I let go to how tight I was holding? I wanted to because I was so tired. This verse spoke to me so clearly and became a source of comfort. I did need to rest, I couldn't keep going the way I was going and it's a constant reminder of that. I am so grateful that God calls us to rest and not only to rest but IN HIM. I picture God's arms looking like a hammock resting in the sunshine and when I fall down into it, I'm greeted with fluffy pillows and don't have to move a muscle once I am there because I am so comfortable.

Source: dressdesigndecor.blogspot.com via Olivia on Pinterest

It also reminds me that to trust in Him, I need to give up complete control. Living in this state of rest does mean letting Him run my life, letting Him make the hard decisions and going where He calls me. It will always be BETTER when He does that, He knows us better than we know ourselves, He loves us more than we can ever imagine, so why not rest in Him and let Him do the heavy lifting? He is able and wants to!

This verse also gives you encouragement to keep going. He will protect and carry your burden. I try to live as this verse says everyday, to go about my day getting things done but in a constant state of rest, rest in the arms of the One who loves me most.

How does this verse speak to you? Do you feel like resting in Christ is easy for you or hard? Have you ever put your trust and complete rest in Him ever before?

where the spirit of the lord is, there is freedom

Source: faith2faith.tumblr.com via Olivia on Pinterest

This couldn't be more true to the way I feel. I am so grateful to have Jesus to set me free, free from captivity of insecurities, expectations, societal standards. The creator of the universe is offering you a way out, a pass, a burden lifted off of your shoulders that you may not even realize is there. Freedom is the only way to describe the feeling. What can you let Jesus take off of your shoulders this week? What if the God of the universe wanted to set you free?

overwhemled

Well friends, our house sold! It was on the market for less than a week and we had 3 offers, pretty amazing! I had a feeling it would sell quick but I didn't expect the craziness of everything that has had to go on since then. I'm grateful for the Lord and His timing because I know that He chose it perfect. We moved everything out over the weekend and have moved into temporary housing with my husband's family until we find a new place we want to buy and hand over our keys this Thursday! 

Something I learned about myself: I super hate moving. It's an organized girl's nightmare because there is NO possible way to have it done seamlessly organized. I tried little by little and felt good about it at first, a few boxes being packed each day so it didn't come and hit me at the end... but it still did. 

Moving in will be a lot better. The decorating and organizing in a new home will keep me motivated I hope!

A few insta-shots of my week (oliviakcarter):

Attempting relaxation for even just a few hours at a time: 

Have you ever had to do a big move? How did you feel about it? I could use some encouragement as I've been crazy overwhelmed over here. Trying to stay calm, not yell at people and TRUST it will alllll somehow be done by Thursday.

over here today

Friends, posting about REST over at the Arizona Russums today. Check it out here

heart issue

Don't just be after actual change, be after heart change.
No matter the situation, if you have Peace, you have it.

Source: spiritualinspiration.tumblr.com via Olivia on Pinterest

living on mission, always.

We are going through a work series at my church right now. It has been awesome and so life giving. In Part 3 John Mark (one of the Pastors) talks about having a God given focus on our life, really seeking and asking him what He has for us. Once we know it and define it, it feels simple from there to go and DO what God has called us to do. So often in our lives we say yes to so many anything (or for some of you not enough yes's) and we feel overwhelmed. At least for my husband and I know this is true, we can't give ourselves fully to everything because we are saying yes to too many. The funny thing is, when Brian and I talked about it, we were each able to nail down our "life goals" given to us by the Lord within minutes. The truth is already written on our hearts, we just need to now listen and apply it. John Mark said that we should spend our life doing what God has called on us (duh!) and anything beyond that needs to take a back seat. Something that really hit me was when he said we shouldn't always feel stressed in life, that the feeling of stress means we are carrying a burden that is not the Lord's.... this is doing WONDERS in my heart and mind right now. What am I doing that isn't God's call on my life? Whatever it is, it's a waste of time & energy and making me feel stressed.

Here are the 3 things I came up with that I felt God was putting on my heart to do: (Family, Vocation, Service)

1. To be the neck of a godly family, to team with my husband to parent humbly (when we are someday parents) and let the Lord guide us and our family, showing our kids that submitting to Jesus and letting him run our lives & loving Him with our whole hearts is most important.

2. To use my gifts of organization and logistics to further the kingdom

3. To mentor young women and help them in the transition of meeting Christ to walking with Him and growing in Him & to foster and create a community that loves each other and Christ well- to be a family of families.

What are yours? Have you thought about this before? Do you think it would be hard to come up with 3 things that you KNOW the Lord has called you to in your life?

I would HIGHLY recommend listening to this series, or parts of it if you can't listen to it all whether your "work" is being a mom, being an accountant, running your own business etc. (my favorites so far have been 3 & 4)

If you do listen, I would love to know your thoughts and what God is teaching you through it!

to wait

The rock I'm rockin, I bought it

this is not truth:

It's true that we need to find our identity and happiness in something specific. Some find it in men, some find it in a career, how much money they have or how talented they are at a certain thing. These things are fleeting. They will warp us to become someone else, that person, or that career and base our entire life around what other people think of us. The idea to be independent from this is a great concept. There is, however, one true thing we can find our identity in, and that is in a relationship with Jesus. The only thing that will last forever, never fail us, never make our identity be anything different than what we were created to be from the age of a child. I don't want to learn to be independent if it means being detattached from my creator. Do you want to be who you were created to be? I sure do.

"All you women, who independent throw your hands up at me"  -the anthem taught of women to our generation. Do I desire to be independent? Sure. Do I think there is a lot of good that comes from independence? Sure. But what that anthem has done for me, is made it such a struggle to be the disciple of Christ I desire to be and the wife to my husband I desire to be.

Christ calls us to be 100% dependent on Him. When our whole lives we have been taught to only rely on ourselves and be independent, this concept is SO much harder to grasp. I think that is a lot of the reason for this, when I wrote about trusting Him and the universal problem that it is. We have been taught to trust no one, for no one is trustworthy and will take care of us properly. This is mostly true, but what is left out is that we have a God who loves us, has our best interest at heart and will never leave or forsake us.

Let us learn to depend on ONE thing, not nothing, for our happiness: the Love of God.

Luke 9:23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

why is it so hard to trust?

I was with a fellowship group the other night. We were sharing scripture that had been influential in our week or summer or life and it's significance to us. As I listened to hearts being vulnerable I heard a common phrase. It is a phrase that I have said many times and heard throughout my Christian walk by many peers. I heard it in a new way and it irked something inside of me.

"I struggle trusting the Lord..."

Source: None via Olivia on Pinterest

I started thinking about Jesus sitting in the circle in my backyard with us and how he felt as he listened to his best friends, his sons and daughters share that the struggled with trusting in Him. How hurt would you be if you heard all of the people you love tell you that? You'd wonder what you had done wrong to not gain their trust, you'd wonder what it is about you and your personality and how you treat them that would make them feel that way.

The thing about Jesus is that He has never done anything to make us not trust Him. He has been nothing but majestic. His love is the ONLY love. Unconditional without fault and the only love that can truly be unconditional. He is there for us when we need Him and catches us when we fall. WHY would we not trust Him?

ONLY hope

Jesus is the only thing we can actually hope in. Everything else may fade, may leave us, may go away, but the LOVE of Christ will never.

If we don't have hope, what do we have? If we don't have Jesus we don't have hope.

Where is your trust in? Something that will fade or something that will last forever?

busy season...

life has been crazy lately. I am coordinating volunteers for a HUGE event in a week and a half, end of the year young life events, preparing for summer camp, wedding season is about to begin... craziness over here.

Last weekend I had the amazing opportunity to take a break from my busy life and attend the first Discipleship Camp at Creekside.  Got to be at the NEW Wyld Life Camp at the Ranch- Creekside. Go to spend lots of quality time with my sister, husband, girlfriends, community, family. I am so blessed to have grown up in the community I have, the wonderful family that is Sunset Young Life.

sister and hubs, super tired.

6 years of sunset alumni, the best.

Bible study girls

bye bye beautiful camp.

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"Give me the child. Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great... You have no power over me." - Sarah 

For those of you who knew me growing up you know that my cousins and I are obsessed with this wonderful 80's movie that most people hate: The Labyrinth. To me this movie is incredible, fabulous characters, wonderful songs, great lines, lots of laughs. One central theme to the movie is this quote above. It plays in my head over and over again and has for years. In the end of the movie it's the moment when she realizes the Goblin King (david bowie thank you very much!!) has been trying to trick her this whole time into thinking getting her brother back was SO impossible, when really it wasn't and she was making it harder on herself because she believed the lies of the Goblin King. She gets caught up in a labyrinth in his castle and the moment she says this line again out loud, finishing the last few words: You have no power over me: the labyrinth disappears and her brother is there in front of her to save.

When I met the Lord this quote became even more important to me. It is our exact struggle with OUR Goblin King- Satan. For our world, our God IS as strong as Him, and even greater. Jesus has won the war, but we can't let Satan win our battles. Those stronghold he has on you, those lies he tells you over and over again... tell him THIS back into his face: YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME. He really would love us to think he does, but he doesn't, and never will. 

from the inside out

The truth that the Lord can truly change us from the inside out has been really important in my life. I have experienced so much growth and transformation from Him. It all hit me so clearly at a church service my freshman year of college. I just broke.

The pastor spoke about how Jesus doesn't desire us to be the way we are (duh! I already knew this...) and the things we say about who we are and what we're like was NOT from the Lord they were from the enemy. It was a time in my life that I was doing this constantly. Lies played in my head about who I was and my excuse was always that "this is just who I am."

I knew God wanted to make me a nicer person, kind to all, live with good morals etc. but I didn't know how deep He wanted to venture into my heart. LIFE CHANGING MOMENT my friends. I heard Him say for the first time (because I chose to hear it...) "Olivia, give me your insecurity, I don't desire for you to be insecure" "Olivia, stop saying you can't deal with big issues, because you can and together we will" "Olivia I don't desire for you to feel unloveable, I love you SO much and someday I will put someone in your life who will." NEWS TO ME.

Since then, my life has been so different. Filled with more of Him and less of me. Less of the girl I once was and more into the woman He desired me to be and the woman He created me to be. Incredible.

Do you feel like you've let God in to the deepest parts of your heart? Has he taken rulership in each little part of your heart or in just the obvious places. Let Him in. Let Him roam around, let Him heal you, change you, transform you, cover your transgressions, redeem you and shape you. All you have to do is let him. All you have to do is surrender. Let Him in and BE STILL. He will do the work.

Source: paratinovia.com via Olivia on Pinterest

it's a GOOD friday.

Jesus you endured my pain
Savior you bore all my shame
All because of your love
All because of your love

Maker of the universe
Broken for the sins of the earth
All because of your love
All because of your love

Because of your cross my debt is paid
Because of you blood my sins are washed away
Now all of my life, I freely give
Because of your love, Because of your love I live

Innocent and Holy king
You died to set the captive free
All because of your love
Lord you gave your life for me
So I will give my life for you
All because of your love
All because of your love

Because of your cross my debt is paid
Because of your blood my sins are washed away
Now all of my life I freely give
Because of your love, because your love I live

You did it for me, you did it for love
I'ts your victory, Jesus you are enough

-phil wickham

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Come close listen to the story
about a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave his only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers broken heart
tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, The day that true love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave his only son just to save us


Now, Jesus is alive

Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Oh, He is alive
He rose again

-phil wickham

Source: everythingfab.com via Olivia on Pinterest

in or out?

I love being an observer, watching people interact with those around them, thinking about the possibility of their stories. This past Sunday at church, this beautiful couple, probably in their early thirties, was in front of me. The woman was holding their 6-8 week old baby. I was in awe watching her cuddle him, feed him a bottle, comfort him as he began his quiet cry. Such a beautiful thing. Next to her were 3 high school boys. I loved watching these boys give Jose their undivided attention, excitedly taking notes. After a while I assumed that these high school boys were being mentored by the dad of the precious baby I wanted to steal.

I thought to myself about not missing a moment of life. Sometimes I think we can get into the mindset that what WE have going on is too much and we need to get rid of all of the outward things we are doing. Sometimes this can be true and we need to set boundaries for our marriage, or family or personal situation going on. But as we seek the Lord and are continued to be filled up from Him we really should never feel stressed or tired or overwhelmed too much to not be able to deal with our situation. YES if we are not seeking Him there is no way we can do most of the things in our life without Him. I just loved assuming the fact that this new mom and dad couple were not focused so much on this new joy in their life that they were able to drive high school boys to church with them. This new dad was making the most of every opportunity he had to show others the sacrificial love of Christ.

One of the boys raised his hand at the end of the service when Jose asked for those who felt moved by the Spirit during this service to commit their lives to Christ. This boy then went the prayer room and closely following him was this new dad. What a life changing day. What if that new parent couple had been too tired to invite those boys to church or too caught up in their own lives to even go that morning. A new life in Christ would have been postponed for another time. This high school boy got to begin his journey with Christ living inside his heart THAT day.

What kind of life would we live if it was always looking in at what we need and never out to what others needed. There are so many needs in this world that with Christ's strength in us we can meet. Are you looking in or are you looking out?