desperation

des·per·a·tion   /ˌdɛspəˈreɪʃən/ Show Spelled [des-puh-rey-shuhn] noun
1.the state of being desperate or of having the recklessness of despair.
2.the act or fact of despairing; despair

des·per·a·tion  Pronunciation: \ˌdes-pə-ˈrā-shən\ Function: noun
1 : loss of hope and surrender to despair
2 : a state of hopelessness leading to rashness

This is the heart of my week this week. I think it's from a combination of this post, this message (Part 10) at church last Sunday and my time at campaigners Sunday night reading Jeremiah 17:5-8.
I want to live each day in desperation for Jesus. Each minute. The more we don't need Him, the more we are blindly leaning on our own strength. We lie to ourselves each day when we think this will work, when we think we can be the best versions of ourselves without Him being at the center, without Him ruling everything that we are. If we really think about it, we are desperate for him. Without Him we are at a state of loss of hope and surrender. He is our hope and our salvation. If we beleive that then why don't we live that way each day?

{thanks Joy for the definitions}